McCanners of New York | 105th Edition
How long have you been at McCann and what do you do here?
I’ve been here 3 years and I’m an Art Director for m:united.
What do you do when you’re not working?
Lately, I’m rekindling my love with music. I make beats/instrumentals (that slap) and it’s quite fun. Makes me feel like a real creative heyooo
What would your DJ name be?
KGAINEZ like at soundcloud.com/kgainez. Yea. That was a set up for a plug.
Have you ever cut your own hair?
Let me tell you something. I’m not cutting these dreads until they touch my FUPA, sis. I do occasionally cut the ugly tips off in the middle of meetings, though. They get gross.
What was your favorite birthday?
I’m not a huge birthday person. I think it’s a huge waste of money. But last year was pretty lit cuz Sean Bryan called me into his office and I thought I was getting kicked tf out but I got a promotion (and a raise, hello Jesus).
Last thing you Googled
I once googled ‘how to stretch your eyeballs’ and I’m quite proud of that.
What's your favorite scary movie?
I don’t like scary or spirit demony stuff. Like, I’ma pass everyday on paranormal activity. But I’m cool with gore stuff like SAW.
Best Date spot in NYC?
Leave my house? Tuh.
What movie makes you cry?
Thugs don’t cry, fam.
If you were stuck on an island with three coworkers, who would they be?
Elina, Jordan Moss, Todd
Who are your creative heroes?
Lizzie and Tali.
What do you enjoy most when you’re not working?
Not working. I’m actually really quiet and reserved. I like alone/quiet time more than anything in the world.
What was the weirdest prank call that you have made?
I’m an intellectual those types of things don’t ignite me.
What advice would you tell your high school self?
Bitch, you are ugly. Figure that out.
If you could be any age for a week, what age would you be?
Your most bizarre talent?
I can crack a large majority of the bones in my body. Even my nose. Feels great.
What is the fanciest thing you've ever done?
Here’s a funny story. So when I was in college (undergrad), everyone kept talking about this bar that had dollar shots and other good deals. As a broke college, I was like great, okay, let’s check this out. Back then I was hella ugly and I wore sweats whenever I could and my hair would just be out and doing whatever. I go to the place and the hostess comes up and asks how many are in the party. I tell her 2 (me and the bestie). They take our asses upstairs on a fancy ass elevator to sit down and eat in what is a VERY fancy ass restaurant. The downstairs part wasn’t nearly this fancy. So we’re like what is happening? What did we do? They give us the menus and we realize we’ve made a grave mistake. Like…a plate here is $100. Mind you we have on sweats and shit. And my friend is like we should leave and I’m like ‘nah I can’t let them know I’m a broke bitch.’ So…we ended up paying $300 on a night we went to go get dollar shots. Thank God for refund checks.
What are you currently obsessed with?
Twitter. I gave it up like 4 years ago because I kept having arguments with strangers on the Internet. My mentions would be on fire. Anywho, I recently got back into it and it is just a funny ass place to be. Those people are creative, for real.
Name a character trait you’ve inherited from your parents.
I was raised by mom who is a devout Christian and she also answers phones for the 700 Club and prays. Prayer is in her bones so I could be like ‘Ma, my knee hurts’ and she’ll go right into a real live prayer. I find myself doing that these days. Yes, it’s weird.
What is your greatest fear?
To be 1000 feet up in there air and surrounded by balloons. Holy shit. Goosebumps. Let me pray right quick.
Which living person do you most admire?
MISSY ELLIOT IS A LEGEND AND SHE DESERVES HER DUE! IT’S TIME, PEOPLE!
Which talent would you most like to have?
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Bagging my girlfriend. She is way more attractive/nice than I am.
What is your motto?
YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE THAT’S THE MOTTO, [redacted], YOLO.
Where are you most likely to splurge?
The big men’s section of Asos. Girl, I love a good velour or printed top. Or Trader Joe’s.
If you could live at any point in history what point would that be - and why?
Start my life over 8 years in the future so I can completely avoid Trump.
What is a piece of information people would be surprised to hear about you?
I once thought I was heterosexual. Womp.
Favorite Instagram account you think everyone should follow.
What’s your spirit animal?
A jellyfish. I’ve always loved jellyfish and I just realized why. They’re so free. They go with the flow. They have faith the ocean will take them where they need to go. I’m also gonna buy some when I’m making Rob’s salary.
If you could have drinks with 3 people dead or alive, who would it be?
2018 Beyonce, 2011 Beyonce, 1999 Beyonce.
First celebrity crush?
Michelle Rodriguez in Girl Fight. She’s 100% the reason I like girls today. Easy money.
Someone else with these dainty looks? Girl, please.
*If you are interested in being featured or want to nominate someone, please reach out to Katie Henry (firstname.lastname@example.org)